With the exception of one shopping trip with my mom on the 4th of July and a couple dinners out, my time for the last month has been consumed with MIL care. Mostly it's been researching and visiting ALFs but also we are over at her current place at least twice a week, we pay her bills, shop, etc.
She currently lives in a senior independent living place where two meals are included with your rent and lunch is available for an extra fee. There's a hair salon, lots of activities, some transportation, etc. Due to macular degeneration and dementia, it's time to move to a facility with more care. Currently she pays for some assisted living services ala carte, but is alone much of the day in her apartment. The social programs are of no interest to her.
We are looking at a place that is smaller, one floor (she has to maneuver an elevator right now), close to our home, and where they check up on the residents every couple hours. We think we have found the perfect one.
When we started the search we began in the larger facilities similar to what she picked out for herself and where she lives now. They are beautiful and modern but she cannot see and isn't interested in the programs (cards, crafts, bingo, etc.). We were skeptical of the small, independently run facilities but had a change of heart when we realized how personalized her care would be,.
I would like to say that you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the right ALF.( I literally ran out of one facilities trying not to puke from the stench on my way out.)